first of many....

So my friend called this morning and wished me the first of many Happy 29th Birthdays!

I thought that was great. :o)

a weird sense of loss...

When I was growing up, I never remembered my dreams. In fact, I had no "proof" that I actually slept at all. I'm legendary in my family for declaring at the wise old age of six that I never slept, and was awake all night long. My parents just laughed, but I realize that my problems with sleep have been around for a long time.

When I had Peanut, I wanted to co-sleep with her, but after a couple sleep-deprived-stumbling-around-in-a-haze months, I realized that a Squirming Little Furnace next to me wasn't a good idea, no matter how absolutely adorable she was. Those precious little toes? Not exactly what I want dug into my throat at oh-dark-thirty in the morning while her head is snuggled into Mister.

So I've never been a good sleeper. It used to take me ages to fall asleep, and if I woke up in the middle of the night, that was it. I was doomed to hours of reading / staring at the ceiling before falling back asleep. That's one good thing that Peanut has done for me - because I'm up so often, I've adapted to being able to fall asleep a heck of a lot faster! There is no time on the clock that sounds "too late" or "too early." 2:30? 3:45? Been there, done that a gazillion times...

One (unexpected) side effect of all this gallivanting around in the middle of the night is that I wake up duri\vng dreams, which means I remember (for a short time) what I was dreaming about. On Sunday night, I woke during the middle of a particularly enjoyable dream. It was an amazing mix of Brigadoon and some adventure, maybe like Firefly or something. I remember that I was going to have to save the whole town by my time-travelling escapade, which involved something about $1.32 being deposited into a cell phone account so that they would be paid up to date. But I remember having close friendships, a romantic interest, etc. It would have been a blockbuster of a movie!

The weird thing is... ever since then, all day yesterday, all last night, and even this morning, I have had a weird sense of loss that I didn't find out what happened. I miss the person I was in love with, and want to hang out with those friends. How odd. Mourning something I never had in the first place...

oh this is more than a little embarrassing

has it REALLY been almost a month since I've posted last? sheesh. all those wonderful moments where i thought to myself "self, this would make a great post on the blog!"... none of those got posted?

so you don't even know that Peanut is on the verge of walking... she can stand for a (comparatively) long time, and she gets the sweetest look of extreme concentration after a while before finally letting out a little sigh and sinking slowly down. it's absolutely adorable. she can also clap, point, say "mamamamama... mam... mama...." while clutching my leg. that usually happens when i'm in the kitchen, which means that in order to get from the stove to the sink, it takes a couple of minutes while we walk veerrrry slowly together.

and the weather is suddenly freezing. literally. i need to go bring my ficus in from the deck.

i got to see my very best real-life-childhood-friend a couple of weeks ago. that was way too much fun. we met up at my parents' house for her 10 year highschool reunion, which was enough of an excuse for me, Mister and Peanut to go up there - as well as my little brother, his wife, her belly-baby and their two kids. let's just say that this summed up her reunion:

Plane Ticket to Wisconsin: $250
Haircut, new shoes, etc: $100
Finding out your prom date is now a woman: Priceless.

Seriously. How traumatic would that be? But we got a lot of belly laughs out of hearing her stories about her old classmates.

We got a van! Too fun...

Uh oh. I finally sit down to post and Peanut wakes up. Gotta go!!