Tuesday, April 10

thoughts on dating, part 1

are we there yet mom is celebrating her blog anniversary, and has been tossing out questions and answers for fun...

i had some thoughts on one of her topics for today, and thought i'd put them out there and see what any of you thought on it.

she wrote:

Since my daughter is entering teenage-dom, what age would I find it appropriate for her to date? A couple of her girlfriends have allready started dating, and she’s observed dating through their experiences, and as far as I can tell, she’s not too into the dating scene yet. I was her age when I went minature golfing on my first date. In planning for this I was thinking about what if I planned a dinner for all of us, to get to know HIS family. I’m pretty close with my In-Laws, and their door was always open to their home, meals included. My mom always told me you can tell alot from a boy how they treat their mother, so I’d ask her to invite them to dinner. What does everyone think?? Does this sound too out there??
my first boyfriend, during my senior year, was mike, a good guy... but my parents didn't want me dating him since i was leaving the country in a few months and then we'd both be off to separate colleges. while we weren't allowed to "date," we still managed to see each other all the time at friend's houses, parties, work, etc. most of our time was spent in groups, but we did enjoy a little time alone. i would say that some of my most fun memories from highschool were talking over crushes with my girlfriends.

how would i recommend dealing with teenagers who are going through the crush / want to be dating phase? they are completely surrounded by a sexually-saturated culture, which is more prevalent in junior high and highschool than you can imagine. having worked with teens for the last few years, i am still amazed at the level of exposure these kids have to vulgarities and sordid perversions, much less straight up sexuality. nothing shocks them. being sexually active is normal - or at least claiming that you're sexually active is. i'm only 11 years out of highschool, but it's changed so much in that time...

they're perceived as social outcasts if they don't date. however, if their parents forbid them to date, they have a reason as opposed to those who simply aren't asked out. being able to shrug off questions with "oh, i'm not allowed..." can be a very nice thing!

more thoughts to come later... peanut is calling for me. and no, she's not going to be dating for a very long time. :o)

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